Posted: April 19th, 2009 | Author: admin | No Comments »
Lately Will and I have had trouble seeing eye-to-eye with our 19-year-old son, Johnny. Without getting into specifics, things between us have been a little tense, and Will and I find ourselves a little paralyzed with no clear direction or obvious plan of attack.
Suffice to say, I told Johnny that things cannot continue the way things have been going. I explained that it’s every person’s duty to rise to the challenges that life presents, and that its our duty as his parents to guide his growth.
I gave Johnny a writing assignment. Basically I wanted him to write his own Constitution and Bill of Rights. I’ve given him carte blanche to explain what he wants and needs from us, what he is offering us in return, and what the consequences should be should we feel he’s not meeting the expectations he’s set for himself.
Until the proposal is completed, Will and I have frozen his allowance, deactivated his Netflix queue and cancelled his credit cards. We still allow him to use his iPhone (since he’s on our family plan), and he still sets his own curfew (with the expectation that he calls to check in every day at 5pm), but Will and I refuse to shell out another penny without some clear direction. As I said to him, if Johnny’s going to treat us like roommates, then Will and I will react accordingly.
Maybe it’s a bit over-the-top, but here’s the outline I asked him to base his proposal on. For clarification, since Johnny has two dads, he refers to me as “Padre de Peso,” and Will as “Padre de Platano Woop.” It’s slightly amusing to see how offended he gets when his friends refer to us as Peso and Woop. Apparently, they are not allowed to call us Peso and Woop.
Introduction
- What events have led us up to this situation as a family?
- Why does Peso want you to complete this writing project?
Section 1: Goals
- What are your goals?
- Where do you see yourself in 1 month (May 2009)?
- Where do you see yourself in 6 months (October 2009)?
- Where do you see yourself in 1 year (April 2010)?
- Where do you see yourself in 3 years (April 2012)?
Section 2: Needs
- What do you NEED from Peso and Woop?
- What do you WANT from Peso and Woop? Please give specific examples, including thoughts on an allowance, Netfix queue, curfew, etc.
Section 3: Contributions
- What can Peso and Woop expect from you?
- What will you do to contribute to the family? Please give specific examples, including thoughts on chores, grades, introducing us to your friends, etc.
Section 4: Consequences
- What do you think is a fair consequence if Peso and Woop feel you’re not doing your share to meet these expectations or contribute to the family?
He’s had the assignment for over a week, and I’ve gone over it with very specific remarks for improving it, and clarifying the things he’s asking for or offering. It’s been an interesting assignment for the both of us, and although I don’t think he appreciates it right now, he’s at least working on it daily.
I’m curious to see if other parents of teens ask their children to write out formal proposals and contracts for acceptable behavior.
Posted: March 21st, 2009 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
This week Will and I discovered that our son’s girlfriend is three months pregnant. He’s 19, she’s 17. Regardless of how complicated all of our lives are about to become, we’re all going to be just fine.
When Will and I decided to adopt Johnny in 2006 (he was 17), we both knew we’d be thrown an insane amount of curve balls, and that we’d have to learn quickly to roll with the punches. Johnny’s a great son, and Will and I see how Johnny is growing into a responsible young man every day. Don’t get me wrong — Johnny makes plenty of mistakes (as he should) but to paraphrase Vanessa Redgrave on Nip/Tuck, as long as he learns from his mistakes, it’s research. While we had hoped we could give Johnny some semblance of a childhood, we know now it’s more important than ever to demonstrate responsible parenting. Sadly, Johnny’s childhood has officially ended and his focus must shift from himself to the safety and well-being of his child.
So while it was shocking when we leaned about the pregnancy, Will and I knew that we had to demonstrate love, understanding, and how to be a good father. I tell Johnny all the time that the goal is to “break the cycle.” After all, he doesn’t have to look too far to see what happens when ill-prepared parents can no longer care for their children.
The first thing we did was invite his girlfriend to our home so we could tell her ourselves that Johnny’s fathers are here to support her, our son and their child. We wanted her to feel completely comfortable with contacting us at any time with questions or concerns. We have always had her cell phone number, but we also made sure that she had our cell phone numbers. Of course we asked her what her plans were and whether or not she was receiving prenatal care. It made both Will and I sad when we heard that her parents (who are not yet aware she’s pregnant) would not be interested in meeting us because they don’t “approve of gay people.”
When I tell people that I’m going to be a grandfather less than two years after I became a father, most aren’t sure if they should say “Congratulations!” or “Oh, shit!” and they wait for me to clue them in before they say anything. It’s actually pretty funny to see or hear our friends’ and family members’ initial reactions. Both Will’s mother and my mother have been incredibly supporting, and we’ve gotten tons of offers of baby supplies and furniture from friends and family members.
I’m sure I’ll be writing more in the coming weeks and months, and I’ll be doing my job as the family photographer and videographer. Since Johnny doesn’t have a pictorial history of his own, I want his child to have thousands of pictures and movies of him or her growing up with Johnny.
While this isn’t exactly the way we planned our lives, we’ve agreed as a family to make the best of the situation.
Posted: February 4th, 2009 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
- “Everybody Knows” by John Legend makes me cry. So does “How to Save a Life” by The Fray.
- Adopting a 17-year old boy when I was 33 was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and what I am most proud of. However, I don’t want to become one of those crazy adoptive parents who exploit their children or adopt because they think it will get them in to the Express Lane to Heaven. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Laurie.
- I miss my father.
- I struggle everyday with trying to be relevant in a world where everything’s irrelevant.
- When I read old entries in my weblog, it’s hard for me to relate to who I was just 5 years ago.
- I can’t help but proofread everything I come across.
- If I could have the life of anyone in the world, it would be Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Tina Fey’s character has a great sense of humor and a great job.
- I don’t forgive people easily. My son says he will teach me how to do that.
- I don’t think I will ever be the kind of person I hope my son will be.
- Facebook quietly undermines many of the reasons I left Cleveland in 1998.
- In many ways, I feel like I’ve really screwed up this life; hopefully I’ll do better in the next one.
- I imagine my life would be a lot easier if I were white.
- I make a lot of jokes about doing recreational drugs, but I’ve never been high.
- I wish my mood wasn’t so tied to my finances.
- Four dogs in New York City is insane. Four dogs and three cats in New York City is just stupid.
- If I could live anywhere else (besides New York City) it would be Paris or San Francisco. Venice and New Orleans would be up there as well.
- I once worked in telemarketing for a TriStar distributor. My job was to call people in their homes and ask them how much money they made, and what brand of appliances they had. If they made enough money, then I gave their contact information to the woman sitting next to me, who called them a second time to tell them they won something.
- I was a dishwasher at the now-defunct restaurant chain called Chi-Chi’s. It was a very humbling experience, but I was just glad I made enough money to eat every day.
- My first car was a Ford Tempo I bought from my father for $1500. I drove it (literally) into the ground.
- I’ve been working on this list for “25 Random Things About Me” for almost 2 weeks.
- I’ve learned to stop thinking about whether I am good or bad at the things that I do; I do things because I enjoy them, and whether I’m good or bad at them is not a factor.
- I get embarrassed when I think about how dead people can see what I’m doing.
- When I was in elementary school I wanted to be white. When I was in high school I wanted to be black. I moved to New York City to be more asian, and I quickly discovered that everyone’s fucked up, no matter what color they are.
Posted: January 5th, 2009 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | 1 Comment »
My brother John (or “Matty,” as his family calls him) opened an Arabica Coffeehouse in Mentor, Ohio back in April. Business could be better, I’m sure, but it’s nice to see that there are a few entrepreneurs in the Sweet Family.
A few years ago, completely coincidentally, I became obsessed with cappucinnos. Maybe it was all of the traveling I was doing in Italy every summer, or maybe it’s because I’m allergic to alcohol (but still wanted to obsess over something food-related), but coffee has become my addiction (after orchids, Louis Vuitton, Land Rovers, etc.).
About a year ago, I bought my own “fancy” KitchenAid Pro Line Series espresso machine, and soon after that came the “fancy” KitchenAid Pro Line Series burr coffee mill to grind my own beans.
Not content with just an espresso machine and a burr coffee mill, my brother started sending me coffee beans from his Arabica Coffeehouse. I then became obsessed with DaVinci Gourmet flavored syrups — and my brother started sending me those as well. At some point he sent me a DaVinci Gourmet display stand (and then another one because the first one wasn’t large enough to hold all the syrups I wanted access to), and as you can see from the picture below, I now have a Cleveland-area Arabica Coffeehouse in my New York City apartment.
And yes, my friends who know my obsessive-compulsive behavior enough already know that I have a matching Kitchen Aid Pro Line Series chef’s blender, Kitchen Aid Pro Line 4 slice toaster, and Kitchen Aid Pro Line Series waffle baker. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot left in the series for me to buy.
If you find yourself in the Cleveland area, stop by my brother’s shop. It’s located at 9570 Mentor Avenue in Mentor, Ohio.
Posted: January 4th, 2009 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
This evening Will, Johnny and I headed to Foot Locker on 34th Street to get Johnny a pair of Jordans. He got a check from his aunt Wendy for Christmas, and with the money he’s saved up, he was ready to buy his shoes. Of course he won’t wear them anytime soon, because apparently you don’t wear Jordans in the snow. But he wanted to buy them now, or they’d be sold out by the time he could wear them.
I’m not a fan of Johnny buying his own clothes, so the Jordans became a gift from his two dads.
Afterwards, we headed on over to Kum Gang San, our favorite restaurant in Ktown. Johnny got the beef bulgogi, Will got the pork bulgogi and I had something with eel in it. It was awesome, as usual.
Posted: January 4th, 2009 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
Streetlife Studios will return from hiatus and resume shooting new content for its award-winning sites in January 2009.
“After my partner and I adopted our son in August 2007, I decided to take a break from shooting content for Streetlife.com and focus my attention on being a full-time father,” said Jimi Sweet, Streetlife Studios’ president. “My own father passed after a long battle with lung cancer in April 2008, and it forced me to re-examine my own life. I worked on the crew of several feature films here in New York City, learning new aspects of mainstream film and video production. With the election of President Barack Obama in November, I felt re-invigorated as both an Asian American and an entrepreneur. I decided it was time to refocus my energy on producing new content for Streetlife.com and our line of DVD videos.”
“Looking forward, we are excited about working with an entirely new lineup of attractive, well-built and well-hung black and latino models. We’ll be shooting all of our content in a high-definition multi-cam setup, we’ll explore fetishes, and even dabble in some light BDSM. It’s going to be fun!”
If you’d like to take part in an upcoming Streetlife Studios video production (as either cast or crew) please fill out the Model Application at http://www.streetlife.com/modeling/. At this time we can only work with models who live in — or plan to visit — the New York City area.
Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | 2 Comments »
When we met Johnny in 2006, he told us he wanted to be an auto mechanic. I encouraged him and told him he could make a great living as an auto mechanic, and fantasized about never having to worry about maintaining my car again.
For the past few months, however, Johnny has decided that he’d like to be a chef, and have his own line of various food items. (I’ve always told him that lucrative endorsement contracts were always a great way to make money while he slept.)
We make sure that Johnny is exposed to new foods all the time. He knows there’s a difference between Korean, Chinese, Malaysian and Thai food. He’s a fan of French and Italian. He is, however, allergic to seafood, so it’s hard to expose him to a lot of my personal favorite meals, like sushi, oysters and lobster. This past summer we went on a Williams-Sonoma shopping spree and I let him pick out a bunch of All-Clad cookware to complement our exisiting Le Crueset. I told Johnny that if he took care of them, that he could have all the cookware when he got his own place.
I’m happy to say that Johnny has really taken cooking to heart, and every Sunday evening, he treats his dads to an awesome home-cooked meal. While we’re still trying to nail down “continuity” (he once made a meal of bulgogi, spaghetti and mozzarella sticks) he’s definitely getting better with the level of quality he’s been attaining.
During the week Johnny will usually brainstorm some meal ideas and do an Internet search for recipes. This past week, he scored three free cookbooks for helping his school librarian during the school’s annual book fair. Earlier today, I gave Johnny my debit card and he headed to Gristede’s to pick up his ingredients. Most of the time we do the grocery shopping on Saturday afternoon together, where I’ll help him read labels, compare prices and identify the more obscure spices, fruits and vegetables. Today he also wanted to get his hair cut, and I felt comfortable letting him buy his own groceries once I saw the shopping list.
Tonight Johnny made a simple Gingered Pepper Steak and a side salad. Johnny’s pretty adventurous when it comes to picking out his meals, and he doesn’t seem to be intimidated by a complicated recipe. He’s actually made an awesome roast duck and his bulgogi could be sold in any restaurant in Ktown. He likes to joke that he’s half-asian, since I’m from Vietnam and Will is Puerto Rican.
Posted: December 21st, 2008 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
One of the many interesting aspects of my son Johnny is that he doesn’t have an artificial sense of entitlement. He has never asked me or Will for physical things like the shoes/jeans/whatever everyone at his school might have. It could be because what he has exceeds what his classmates have, but still, it’s refreshing to not feel obligated to keep up with anyone. Don’t get me wrong, we spoil Johnny rotten whenever we can — he has Prada shirts, a Gucci belt, an Apple iPhone, and a 20-inch Apple iMac in his bedroom — but he saves his allowance for his Jordans and looks forward to when his rented Netflix DVDs arrive in the mailbox.
So when the occasion comes up that Johnny verbalizes the need for things like underwear or gloves, Will and I turn it into a family outing and we head downtown to Johnny’s favorite shopping district, 34th Street. Johnny is pretty content shopping at places like Daffy’s, Kmart and H&M, and I don’t have a problem coming up with the $5 for a pair of boxer shorts with Al Pacino on them — really, that’s what he wanted.
Johnny’s quite a performer and he loves to pose for the camera. And that’s great for me, because as his dad, it’s my job to witness his life, and to give him photos of even the most mundane things he does. Johnny has two photos of himself for the 18 years of his life before he met us. While I can’t make up for everything he’s lost, I can give him a photographic history of the best years of his life — the years with his two dads.
Posted: December 5th, 2008 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | No Comments »
Streetlife Studios is proud to announce that its premier membership web site Streetlife.com has been nominated for a Cybersocket Web Award in the “Best Black Theme Adult Site” category. The Cybersocket Web Awards recognize outstanding achievements in the world of queer online media and entertainment.
Voting for the 9th Annual Cybersocket Web Awards closes on December 31, 2008 and the ceremony will take place on February 9, 2009 in Hollywood, CA in conjunction with the 2009 XBiz Conference.
Streetlife Studios would like to thank the fans (and especially the members) for this industry recognition.
Vote for Streetlife.com here.
Posted: July 24th, 2006 | Author: Jimi Sweet NYC | 2 Comments »
Today I received a little package from my friend No Milk in Chicago. It was a CD of mixes he made under his alter ego, DJ Evil Twin. No Milk is an amazing writer, a funny character and a fellow Gaysian — and I would have given anything to be sitting at Starbucks with him, enjoying the day.
